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idahoing:

when the bae wont give you road head

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(via blowoffs)

beefmilk2:

pansoph:

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

jerry is here

(via weepingdildo)

gameofchrons:

is this what having a penis is like 

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(Source: hanukkahlewinsky, via perks-of-being-chinese)

i recommend the creme brulee

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i recommend you go away

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(Source: controlthenight, via weepingdildo)

equisollux:

zombiecthulu:

basedkuroko:

my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE

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the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone

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I bet he’s on Tumblr

I am

(Source: lolicutie, via phobias)

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